Weel 6 - Overwhelmed

*I do not own this artwork. Image is taken from Google

Monday, 24 july 2015.

I had my first anxiety attack.

I often hear stories about people who suffer from anxiety disorder. I never really acknowledge that as I thought I would never have to deal with it. 

That very morning, during class, my body felt odd. My head was lightheaded, I was not able to think straight and I was very restless. I thought that it was the side effects of my medications, which I had taken earlier. When class ended, I felt worse. I felt very anxious for no apparent reason and my heart started pounding very hard. As I did not wanted my friends to see me in such a state, I went up the rooftop where there were benches. Thankfully, I was alone. As I sat down, it worsened. My breathing was very short and I started worrying and overthinking about horrible situations that I clearly knew would never occur. The problem was, I couldn't push those thoughts away. I had a really hard time pushing it away. All I felt was fear and all I wanted to do was just cry. I have never ever experienced this before. I badly wanted those feelings to go away. I opened up Google on my phone and typed out the symptoms that I had and what I felt. The first word that I saw was 'ANXIETY'. I was stunned. Justice was serve as I have always been ignorant about people who had anxiety disorder. 

I then tried to calm myself down by drowning myself with positive thoughts. I also reminded myself that I am surrounded with people who care about me. Although it took a fair bit of time for me to completely calm down, it worked. Positivity is key. 

Anxiety was debilitating. It felt like my mind was on fire. Over analysing irrelevant thoughts and overthinking about illogical situations. Anxiety was like a person, controlling the voice inside my head, telling me that everything is not okay when as a matter of fact, everything is.

That very night, I reflected upon what happened earlier and wondered what triggered it. I was certain that I was just overwhelmed with all the assignments and I still am trying trying to adjust with the environment. 

I am thankful for this sudden anxiety attack as it had helped me open my eyes and be more understanding towards people who suffer from such disorders and has to deal with it frequently. I am optimistic that such circumstances will never occur again as long as I radiate positivity.